If you are a Certified Scrum Master, you are doing it wrong.
We are a community of motherfucking programmers who have been humiliated by software development methodologies for years.
We are tired of XP, Scrum, Kanban, Waterfall, Software Craftsmanship (aka XP-Lite) and anything else getting in the way of…Programming, Motherfucker.
We are tired of being told we’re autistic idiots who need to be manipulated to work in a Forced Pair Programming chain gang without any time to be creative because none of the 10 managers on the project can do… Programming, Motherfucker.
We must destroy these methodologies that get in the way of…Programming, Motherfucker.
Erik Meijer hating on Agile: “we talk too much about code, we don’t write enough code.”
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/01/08/erik_meijer_agile_is_a_cancer_we_have_to_eliminate_from_the_industry/
The article claims a former priest from the Church of ThoughtWorks has “debunked” this. Can a religion ever be said to have debunked a skeptic?
More inevitable end-of-fad predictions. This is a great example of why Agiile failed.
Dr Dobbs piece on how Agile mutated into the dogma we know today: http://www.drdobbs.com/architecture-and-design/the-corruption-of-agile/240166698
An interesting, albeit pretty obvious, analogy between Agile and a Cargo Cult in this blog post: Why Agile has Failed.
You’ll have to forgive me if previous posts convey the impression that I regard Agile as simply an elaborate practical joke that exists solely to wring cash out of clueless organizations and unworldly cretins. Nothing could be further from the truth, and to prove it I present you with a wonderful and educational gift.
This exciting “graphic novel” produced, we have to assume, in earnest by PMI shows how Agile(R) skills are not just of use in the Scrum room of a dull IT company but can save lives godammit! Experience the thrills as Angela, our plucky protagonist, manages to not just save a little girl from an icy death but also free a crack team of project managers who could have been trapped in a luxury hotel for several inconvenient days! As others lose their heads, she calmly uses her knowledge of the Agile Approach(tm), to make signs, arrange meetings and facilitate the deployment of information radiators. Without wanting to spoil the end of the story, it’s worth noting that she never lets her ego get in the way of The Agile Approach, and invites everyone else to congratulate themselves in a sincere display of selflessness. Woo-hoo! they all shout joyfully, for they feel happy to have been part of the experience. But deep down acknowledge that Angela alone was responsible for the success.
Think on Hollywood – perhaps it’s about time someone remade The Poseidon Adventure with an Agile hero!
(Thanks to Mr Fritz for sending me this gem)
Here it is! A cut-out-and-keep Genuine(R) Agile(R) Voucher with the value of 13 Genuine(R) Agile(R) points:
A voucher for 13 Genuine(R) Agile(R) points
Please read the terms and conditions before you award it to someone, otherwise the points may end up being a meaningless waste of everyone’s time.
Mental Agility 