What do points make?
As the iteration continues, and the developers write code, and the developers fix bugs, the software improves. The developers and the QA teams know this because they are using the software all day and are naturally aware of the progress being made. However the BA’s, PO’s, and PM’s do not know how things are going, because they try to spend as little time as possible dealing with the “technical stuff” (they’re much too important to deal with the nuts and bolts). Consequently they rely on the post-cards (or the post-card emulators) to determine what’s being done. Only when a Story gets “Accepted” do they celebrate; even if the feature was coded weeks ago and was simply being debugged or honed since then. Even if it was just sitting around waiting for one of the high-folk to approve it.
For daily business, we all communicate via an Instant Message system. Around three weeks after a developer has finished implementing a particular feature, it is common to get a message directed at everyone which reads something along the lines of “Story-1554 has been accepted! That’s 12 points!!!!” at which we’re all supposed to get excited, whoop, jump around and high five each other or some shit. Some people regard points as being akin to money, treats or gold stars – others, like me, just get saddened. A feature we implemented has been “accepted”. We already know it works because we (and QA) have tested it. But now, the actual work has transcended from boring-old-code to something really valuable: Agile Points!
So I’ve decided to make a range of official Agile-points gift cards that we can give out to BA’s and PO’s and all of the other worthless MBA fucktards for their birthdays etc. What better way to celebrate than to apply an extra 5 Agile Points to your project! The work will get done even quicker after that (and that’s Science that is)!